Listen Junior. What would your momma say if she caught you looking at a whiskey website? You aren’t old enough to buy Grim Reaper legally, and if you convince Cousin Jethro to buy it for you, he’s gonna pocket the money or keep the whiskey for himself. You can’t trust old people, I swear.

Don’t worry. When you’re old enough, we’ll still be around to provide you and your buddies a world of pain and a hangover worthy of your tender years.

Now, go on. GIT!